Fears. We all have them: “What if I crash and burn?”, “that’s too precarious,” and “maybe I’ll take the chance when the next opportunity arrives.” Seems familiar? … Perhaps not, I professedly could’ve come up with some better examples. But as the title promises, I’m going to speak about fears and how to overcome them, in this entry. Because who here doesn’t have something they’re too terrified to do?
I’m a little bit of a coward myself. I try too hard to fit in; to be like everyone else. That’s how I’ve been for the last 12-ish years, and it’s a pile of b*llshit. I’m unique, and my way of thinking creates hundreds of good ideas in a day. But I never implement them because it doesn’t follow the social norm. And to clarify: I have no idea if it actually is the social norm or not. It’s just an image I created in my head of how I assume people expect me to be.
For example, I never post on social media. Not because I don’t have anything to post, but you probably know the drill. “What if I don’t get any comments or likes?”, “Do people find me dull/weird/depressing?” Like I have all these negative thoughts running through my mind (overthinkers will know what I’m talking about) and I just … don’t post anything.
You’re probably wondering why I’m blogging then. It’s something different with my blog. First of all, it’s way out of my comfort zone and secondly. If someone reads my blog, it’s presumably because that person wants to, not because I just emerged while they were scrolling through their newsfeed.
Aaaaand, I’m getting off tracks again. Typically me.
Discover the source of your fears
The critical question here is “why?”. “Why am I afraid to _______?”
Every time I recognize my fear, I take a step back and reflect on the situation.
- Why am I afraid to post on social media? Well because somebody will probably judge me.
- Why am I scared so scared of standing out? It just feels more comfortable to be overlooked and knowing I’m not doing anything “wrong.”
You probably already have a sense of why you have your specific fears. But use them in your favor; you know your why, but…
What’s the worst that can happen?
What is the absolute worst thing that can happen if I do this? More than often I realize that this is probably all in my head. I’m not going to get hurt by doing this– I’ll probably end up being proud knowing that I did it. Who cares if I fail? I did at least try. And I unquestionably learned something from it.
What if I fail?
I’m pretty sure the only person who’s genuinely curious about your success or failure is you. People won’t pay attention to your life until you become triumphant and impressive. I know, I know. You do have people who’re genuinely interested in your life. But those people are the ones who’ll be proud of you, no matter what.
The road to success is full of mistakes and failure; most successful people haven’t become successful because they took the easy route. It’s merely how we learn and grow. You don’t learn anything from winning, you learn from failing. Or possibly you learn a bit from winning, but I’m just trying to make a point.
Start by taking babysteps
There’s an old Chinese saying: ” 千里之行，始於足下” which translates into “a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” I think it’s beneficial in this context. You should be at the point where you want to start climbing out of your comfort zone. But it’s terrifying to do it all at once, so I suggest you start by taking baby steps. I have a foolproof plan!
Identify your fears.We already did that part.
- Say you want to start blogging, but you’re afraid of numerous things like being visible/putting yourself out there, making mistakes, being boring, don’t get any comments and so on. If I’m as good a writer as I think I am, you’ve identified your fears and have probably realized they’re all in your head.
So we should be ready to create a goal. This could be “to create a blog and write my first five blog posts,” within the next 90 days.
- Break that goal into weekly parts — this is where we start our baby steps.
Week 1: Create and set up your blog. It takes time to find the perfect design for you and you want to personalize your blog, so it’s … you.
Week 2-4: Do some brainstorming and research on the type of posts you want to create, so you’re prepared to sit down and write.
Week 5: Write your first blog post — get comfortable with it, find your voice; in other words, be sure to be authentic. If you’re trying to be someone you’re not, you’ll get bored with blogging from the beginning.
And so on. I could probably save all this for an entry about goalsetting, but you get the idea now.
- Let the magic happen and don’t let small failures stop you.
Since this is my first real post on my blog, I’m definitely stepping out of my comfort zone; who am I to give advice on how to overcome fear? Have I written enough to actually be helpful, or have I been too spacey again? I’m just (sort of) kidding. I’ve been struggling with getting out of my comfort zone for a while now, so I’ve gotten used to merely overlook my fears. It’s highly recommended! 😀
If you want to read more about overcoming fears
I came across a lot of various articles in my “research” for this entry; they all have some excellent details I haven’t discussed. So if my ideas aren’t enough, have a look at these: